Fat Pets and Birth Control
July 1, 2009, 4:09 pm
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My Norwegian friend Birgitte aka ‘Young B’ and I have bonded over many things over the years, including a love of ‘Dear Old Norge’ (as she calls it) and fat pets. Young B just luvvvs a fat pet.


She recently sent me a photo of a fat pet belonging to her mom, which Young B offhandedly mentioned was a product of her watching her mom’s cats for the weekend and forgetting to “give them the pill”.

Umm…hulloooo? What? No really? They have birth control pills for pets in Scandinavia? Like, on top of trumping our health care system in every way imaginable, birth control is also readily available to pets? And the answer is YES.

Young B’s reply:
Hahahahaha, that is such a natural fact to me, it’s really funny that you are shocked.

Some people advise against giving birth control to cats and dogs, because of cancer in their titties (that’s something I don’t know in English, what is the word for the multiple “breasts” that animals have?). The funny thing is that it’s also useful to cure nymphomania (in cats).”

So now you know. Also, Young B speaks PERFECT English – like better than me. So the part where she struggles from a lack of animal mammary vocab really cracks me up. Ahhh, Young B. I love you, girl!!

Me and Young B Barcelona '08

Me and Young B Barcelona '08


I confess..
May 3, 2009, 2:53 pm
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to having done the below workout dvd before..and not just once.


Meet Mike and also William
May 1, 2009, 10:15 pm
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For 10 plus years I have had the good fortune of being quite close with a delightful creature named Mike D. (no, not the Beastie Boy, though he gives him a run for his money in terms of having his finger on the pulse).  Mike has an amazing penchant for coming up with the best phrases every time we approach another birthday together. Luckily he is 2 months older, so by the time I reach the age in question, a phrase such as “the Dirty 30”, “thirty-one-derful” or “the Turdy Turd” is already in place and popularized. It makes that step over into another year just a little bit easier.

One time I went to a Northern State photo shoot where there was a man named William Williams doing our hair. I reported this back to Mike and I believe it was at this moment that Mike’s alter ego, William Williams (or alternately, William William Williams) was born. Below is an excerpt from an interview Mike conducted with William, or himself. If I were you, I would pay attention. (Pls note, Mike lived in Germany with his family for a period during his totally un-awkward pre-teen years, this will come into play later)


1. you need a ride to the airport. don draper and stevie nicks have pulled up outside your apartment in matching vehicles. who do you choose?

jesus h. had i known this was going to be the category 5 of interviews, i would have worn clean underwear. ugh. well, where am i going?

1a. does that matter?

well, yes. if i’m going on vacation, i’d pick stevie. god knows she’s got a purse full of prescription ‘sleep aids’ to help me through the flight and i’m sure she drives like the white-winged dove. if i’m going home for the ho-lidays or some such, i’d have to pick don. you know, because he has such a hot, brooding, high-level of holiday angst and nothing says “holidays” like driving drunk to JFK.

2. you seem so wise and ageless. i have to ask, though, what was life like as a teenager?

i guess pretty average for a figure-skating ladyboy living on the european mainland. lots of acid wash, weinerschnitzel and gummi baerchen. and a smattering of flouncing around with high hair and an insistence that the Dirty Dancing Too soundtrack was the shiznit. same as yours, minus kick-line.

3. what is your preferred format in a single piece, body-concealing item of clothing?

well, many would have thought the slanket (a.k.a. the snuggie or freedom blanket). it’s true that i have had my sofa lamping license (SLL, class 1) for a number of years now and can get stupid cozy on just about any piece of plush-stuffed cushion and this is the environment where the slanket truly shines. but, i prefer quelquechose in a couture kaftan. something tailored and light that says, “st. tropez? don’t be gauche.”

4. how did it come to pass that your first, middle and last name are the same?

i don’t understand. my given name is William William Williams. so, my first and middle names are the same and my last name is different. i’ll let you know if it changes, though.


Big Girls luv Frankie Valli? (I couldn’t think of a good title, sorry)
April 2, 2009, 11:52 am
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Anyone who knows me knows that I love me some Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. I have a general love of the genre unfortunately referred to as “oldies” and Frankie and the boys are among my faves. I know not everyone has the same appreciation for Frankie Valli’s notorious upper range, but often overlooked is his mid-range, which I am obsessed with – the gravelly rock n’ roll voice he uses to sing most of the verses.


The melodies, arrangements, and harmonies of the Four Seasons are an inspiration to me, and Four Seasons member Bob Gaudio who wrote the majority of the group’s 46 hits – yes, 46!!! – is arguably one of the best American songwriters of all time. The lyrics to songs like “Dawn” and “Rag Doll” address class issues as experienced by Italian Jersey boys in the early 60s.

21_fullI’m not saying the lyrics were revolutionary, but within the pop genre of the time, these songs had a little grit to them. Of course some are just pure pop ear candy – I don’t think “Sherry” has any agenda besides getting Sherry to come out toniiii-iiight.

The Four Seasons played instruments, rare for ‘vocal’ groups of that time. In fact, they weren’t a vocal group. They were a rock band who got their start playing live in bars, and who just happened to have sublime vocal arrangements. (Unfortunately most of their television appearances had them standing around one mic crooning like the Lettermen, but it is the actual Four Seasons playing on the recordings!)

About a year ago I did go see “Jersey Boys” on Broadway w/ my girl Katie Cassidy who recently developed an acute love of Broadway shows(!). Needless to say, it was about the GAYEST thing I have ever experienced, but the songs are timeless and the middle aged Jersey couples seated all around us were worth the price of admission.


In short, the Four Seasons. Take them seriously, or at least don’t let me know if you don’t. And if you find my passion for FV and the FS odd, don’t even get me started on Tommy James and the Shondells!!

p.s. If you are at all interested in this topic, check out this amazon link in which the author convincingly argues that the Four Seasons have more in common with the Beach Boys than any other group at the time (Both groups entered the charts with their first major hits in the same month, August 1962) http://www.amazon.co.uk/Frankie-Valli-The-Four-Seasons/dp/B001EE0SIK

placeholder post
March 29, 2009, 10:09 pm
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No time to blog, no time to blog, too busy working and rocking, rocking and working. But boy do I have some good things up my sleeve to blog about, but I need to wait til I have the appropriate amount of time to dedicate to each post, especially as some pertain to delicate topics such as birth control for pets in Norway. I’m not kidding..so for now I will leave you all w this pic I recently encountered of self playing drums in Lucky Bitch from a time when I was apparently a blonde? (Lucky Bitch is on itunes this week! Search itunes for us, or click here www.itunes.com/luckybitch) Also, it’s my bro’s bday this week, so here is a classic shot of us as teeny people. It’s clear that I am kind of on the fence about the whole prospect of a little brother in this pic..or maybe it’s the weight of my ENORMOUS SIDE PONY TAIL just bringin’ me down..ok no time TO BLOG!! omg jst took a close look at my bro’s outfit in this pic, WTF!?!?!


March 18, 2009, 9:13 pm
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Last night I finally caught up on the most recent Rock of Love Bus and was disappointed to see Ashley, no doubt the star of the show, be told that her tour ends here. I understand why Bret did what he did, but it was still a total bummer. Ashley, who coined such phrases as ‘If you wanna date a rock star, you better get used to falling off the stage, BITCH’, will be missed.


Incase you forgot why you love Stevie Nicks..
March 9, 2009, 5:12 pm
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If you have forgotten why you luv Stevie, this one’s for you. Maybe you thought you loved her for her witchy ways. Maybe you thought you loved her for her uncontrollable spinning. But the real reason to love Stevie is of course..that voice. And it’s on full display in this video, sent to me by my girl Lacey C who wins the prize for this one. In this clip, Stevie rehearses her song ‘The Wild Heart’ while some gal tries to put makeup on her unsuccessfully. I once read a quote by Tom Petty where he said that ‘in those days’ Stevie was such a crazy good singer that she scared him. I think I understand. And then, for dessert we have a vintage MTV clip in which Stevie explains the ‘Wild Heart’, speaking of herself in the third person (I think?) while swaying back and forth the whole time in the style of one who is ‘on the cocaine’. “You know, she’s wild”.

Stevie backstage


You know, she’s wild.