Speropolis

So, as feminists, and as our mothers’ daughters, we have been taught we can have it all. Right? The older I get the more I accept that this is just not the case. How many of our mothers bought that line and ended up frazzled, frantic and completely exhausted by 50? Feminism is all about choice, obviously. And it seems like maybe our generation’s brand of feminism is all about tough choices. We want it all. But maybe we shouldn’t. Because there aren’t enough days in the week to do it all, and there isn’t enough room in your apartment to have it all. I dunno..is this getting too Carrie Bradshaw? My point is just that even Oprah recently ended up overweight and with low thyroid from doing too much..Did anyone see ‘Best Life’ week? helllooo? Anyway, here is my newest bedroom demo, ‘We Want It All’.

wewantitall

Pls excuse the distorted vox and the weird mandolin-sounding guitars that were supposed to sound like Marshall stacks, I am a kinda lazy bedroom demo-recorder I guess. Choices.

But do we want to, Oprah?

I was happy to see a few comments about New York 1, my fave channel (Ahhhh, Bloomberg). I know not this Bobby Cuza of which you speak, but what I DO know is George Whipple, who does like food reviews, or movie reviews, or something like that. But I never can pay attention to what he’s saying because I can’t stop staring at his..well, you tell me what you think I might find distracting about this gentleman…

Ok I got so many comments on the post about the 10 second rule, and many people told me it’s a 5 second or even a 3 second rule in their neck of the woods, leading me to look like a totally gross person who leaves a morsel of food on the ground for 10 seconds before retrieving and eating said morsel. Ok, I would NEVER do that. I just thought it was CALLED the 10 second rule..and I believe in some circles, it is. Many of the comments were very illuminating, especially Bri’s which puts forth the theory that one should take into consideration the shape and consistency of a food particle when determining the actual time it can and should linger on the ground.

“”Moisture content and surface area of the food item is important. Let’s compare a skittle with a pickle slice. The curved hard surface of a skittle minimizes any transfer of germs from floor to food. A pickle slice is flat and wet.”

Indeed it is. If this topic is of interest to you, I beseech you to read the comments under ’10 Second Rule’ where theories and evidence are offered up from locales as far reaching as Russia, Western New York, Canada, and the Discovery Channel. And if you have more to say on the topic, I am pleased to provide this forum for such lively discourse.

In my 10 years as a New York City resident, I have known 2 mayors. Rudy Giuliani, who I had a pretty strong opinion about (who ever heard of an Italian Republican?) and Mike Bloomberg, who I have felt mainly ambivalence towards, though still not comprehending how it is that NYC keeps electing Republican mayors.

Now, I know there are plenty of people with VERY strong opinions about Mayor Bloomberg. I can’t imagine why anyone would have a strong opinion of a billionaire mayor who tries to repeal the law on term limits so he can self-finance his way to another term! But somehow I have never felt that strongly one way or another. But that’s not the point.

The point is that I watch a lot of NY1, which for those who may not know, is the local NYC cable news channel. I love it. At this point if I don’t start the morning with the soothing sound of Pat Kiernan’s voice (the Anderson Cooper of NY1), I am lost all day.

And the more NY1 I watch, the more I start to feel a warm spot in my heart for crusty old cajillionaire Mike Bloomberg. This guy is nothing short of a ham. And he is everywhere at all times, doing things that if I had a billion dollars like him, or even if I was just the Mayor of NYC, I’d be like HELLL NO, I am not doing that! But he seems all too happy to pose with the first AND second babies born in the New Year. Two hours later he is ‘helping’ the grounds crew clean up after the New Yrs Eve celebration in Times Square. The next day he’s in a business suit and dress shoes with a safety orange highway construction thing over his suit digging a ditch with some confused construction dudes. This guy is something else. I have to guess he just loves the publicity, cuz he’s obviously not doing it for the money.

But for me, the best of the best was this past Monday on Groundhog’s day when someone thought it would be a good idea for Mayor Bloomberg to coax a giant overfed groundhog, who is about as cranky as Bloomberg himself, out of his ‘hole’. Well, it turned into quite a local news story here in NYC, even garnering the back cover of the Daily News (“NY’s hometown paper”- which makes you dumber every time you read it). Charles G. Hogg (I luv a groundhog w a middle initial) nearly took off one of Bloomberg’s fingers as Bloomberg clumsily wrestled the thing out of its home, taunting it with a corn cob, and finally lifting it triumphantly for the cheering crowd to see.

“SHOCK AND GNAW” was the Daily News Headline. Indeed. The whole thing made me feel a little less like I live in the world’s biggest, craziest most impersonal metropolis, and more like I am living in a small town in Wisconsin where the groundhog biting the mayor is BIG News! I kinda liked it.

Next, our Bloomberg held a press conference to reveal that he had finally traced the source of the bizarre and mysterious maple syrup smell that has wafted over Manhattan several times in recent years. Yup. A press conference. Now I had been thinking maybe Bloomberg himself had piped in the Cinn-a-bon scent, in an effort to make New Yorkers feel like we are at the mall and shop more. But the actual source has been revealed to be (drumroll pls..) NEW JERSEY! Duh.

than Chrissie Hynde?

I mean, seriously. She is just so cool at all times. Leather pants and a boxy blazer? Rock n Roll!

I just dropped a deliciously perfect crispy kettle cooked potato chip on the floor and could not bare to see it go. We vacuumed and mopped this wknd (and when I say we, I mean Zach) so I figured what the hell, shouted ’10 second rule!’ out loud to myself and snatched up that tasty chip right off the kitchen floor. Which led me to wonder (Carrie Bradshaw moment..) What’s the deal w the 10 second rule? Who came up with? How has it become so well-known? What are its geographical boundaries, if any? Do people in the deep South use it? People in Montana? I think it has spread to both US Coasts as I have friends in Cali who I’m sure are familiar with, and use, the 10 sec rule when necessary. I allege it is somewhat age specific, as I don’t think my Grandma has ever been known to invoke the 10 second rule. Any info on this is appreciated.

Mmmmmmm

So my OTHER band Lucky Bitch recorded our first ever EP in Nashville this fall.

It’s called ‘Easy on the Ice’ which is what we always tell the person who is making our pitchers of margaritas. It features me on guitar, drums (on 2 songs) and vox (most notably, on my opus ‘I was so drunk I was crying’ which is based on a true story).

It also features,in no particular order:

Sprout – Drums, guitar, vox/ Andrea aka ‘Big Red’ – Bass/ Dana Klein – Vox, egg/ Dani Linnetz – Guitar, vox/ Katie Cassidy – Lead Guitar, vox.

Katie basically just shreds the whole time, it’s awesome.

Our songs are about rocking and drinking and stuff like that.

You can listen to a few songs here: http://myspace.com/luckybitchtheband

And you can get a copy of our EP for $5 (that’s right. $5) here: http://luckybitch.bigcartel.com/

We hand decorate each copy and we would send it to you with a free margarita or shot of whiskey (your preference) if we could.

Also Mickie Quinn did this art and i luv it!

Please enjoy this celebrity interview w Hesta Prynn aka Juuule about our fave shows. At the end of the day it is our love of Oprah, MADAME SECRETARY Hillary Rodham Clinton and Real Housewives of Atlanta that binds us.

Hesta Interview Part 1

Glossary:
PR = Project Runway
RHOA= Real Housewives of Atlanta
Who is this lovely person havin’ a fashion show with no fashions? = Our fave line from RHOA, uttered by the queeniest queen on the show
O = Oprah
Sex Johnson = Seth Johnson, drummer for Northern State (and many others)
HRC = Hillary Rodham Clinton (duh), or Madame Secretary to you!

1- Pls rank you top 5 favorite shows, 1 being your favorite:
I cannot rate them, just tried like 6 times so in no particular order they are: Top Chef, Mad Men, PR, Real Housewives of Hotlanta, Oprah, Law & Order SVU (that’s six)

2- If you could spend the afternoon with Tim Gunn or Nene from RHOA, who would you pick?
Is this a joke?? OBV Nene, team Nene for life! Tim Gunn has played himself hard w his Guide to Style show which sux. The fame has totally gone to his head. I would LOVE to have cocktails w Nene and Anderson Cooper, best night eva.

Team Nene

3 – Same question – this time Nene or OPRAH??
Oooh GIRL that’s a question. The afternoon w Nene would obv be way more fun and would involved many cocktails and possibly that QUEEN (who is this lovely person having a fashion show w no fashions??) but O is a divine prophet and equally out of her mind, plus she is bff w Nate Berkus who is another queen that I love. Would have to say O but it required some thought as you can see.

4 – What would you do if we were at a taping of O and it was FAVORITE THINGS!?!
OMG first of all it would be the best moment of my entire life, I would be there w you obv, we would freak the f out, immediately burst into tears, cling to one another and I would gesture to the heavens and say “God is Good” through my tears.

5- Why have you been so resistant to watching Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders?
First of all I find the tone of this q to be quite confrontational and aggressive. I have actually seen this show in it’s first season, liked it (didn’t luv) as I like every show related to dance but I was frustrated that these gals make like NO money, also I just never got to it as I have to watch O everyday and my entire DVR is filled w Law & Order right now. I can’t do EVERYTHING at once!?!?

6 – Now that all of ‘our shows’ are on hiatus, what have you been doing and/or watching?
I have starting watching 2 really trashy shows, the first is A Double Shot of Luv w the Ikke twins, aka Rikki n Vikki. This show has taken trash to a new level and I don’t even DVR it bc I’m embarrassed. Also I’ve “accidentally” been watching this other terrible show called True Beauty (I think) ,which is a beauty contest for v vain people but it’s really about inner beauty. It is hosted by Cheryl Tiegs who looks surgically rebuilt and HAD and Vanessa Manilo who is currently working on Jessica Simpson’s sloppy seconds I SAID IT! Lest you think I only watch television I’ve also been making a record and working like a DAWG, am in Seattle right now watching SATC and just ate a full pack of M&Ms from the mini-bar heyyyyyyyyyyy

7- Will you or will you not watch “Rock of Love Bus”?
I have to skip it as I cannot watch the Ikke twins show and also this show, it’s too much trash. I’m sorry

8- What do you think about O hittin’ a cool deuce – again!
Oooh girl O has hit a cool deuce!! (see also:Sex Johnson lexicon) I have no opinion on this per se aside from oooh girl!!!

Cool Deuce

9- Is there anything you’d like to say to our peers who have dragged HRCs name through the mud throughout the entire primary election now that she is being appointed Secretary of State?
(If your answer is ‘clamp down on the beefy’ that answer is already taken by moi!)
I’d say eat a dick or eat a bag of dicks.

When I was growing up on Long Island, there was a summer or two where Debbie Gibson was the coolest. She was a Long Island girl, just like me, only she had a recording studio in her garage, she wrote her own songs, and…the hat speaks for itself. One day in my bedroom I recorded this version of her breakout hit, which still gives me butterflies when I hear it. (her version, not mine)

Only In My Dreams

it's all about the slap bass

Electric Youth

Can it be that my lil Minnie aka Peanut aka Weezy F. Baby (I told you, Lil’ Wayne stole the name from her) bares an odd resemblance to Benjamin Button?